The Great Gatsby.  The eyes of T. J. Eckleburg have nothing on the Misfits.  In this Special Great Gatsby Episode, we stare long and hard at three of Hollywood’s attempts to bring F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic to the screen.  Like the bespectacled eyes of Doctor Eckleburg, our gaze is often disapproving and occasionally downright judgmental.  The part of Jay Gatsby has been played by Alan Ladd (1949), Robert Redford (1974), and Leonardo DiCaprio (2013).  But when all is said and done, the question the Misfits must answer is, “Are any of these Gatsbys all that great?”

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Olympus Has Fallen.  Here’s a film in desperate need of screenwriting “Life Alert.”  Perhaps a better title would have been Olympus Has Fallen and It Can’t Get Up.

Mud.  You can’t always judge a film by its poster–or its title.  Despite an ad campaign that seems designed to drive audiences away, Mud is probably one of the better films of the year.

42.  This is the true story of Jackie Robinson, number 42, but unfortunately it “trickles through the thickets” and is “booted” by the filmmakers, who end up doing a “Barnum & Baily” on what should have been a great film.

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Admissions.  Paul Rudd continues his relentless campaign to appear in every lame comedy released in theaters.  With Prince Avalanche, Almost Christmas, and This is the End still to be released this year, the question has to be asked:  Has some evil genius who hates comedies cloned this guy?

Gangster Squad.  A bunch of flatties ditch their buzzers and take on Mickey Cohen and his trouble boys.  There’s plenty of Chicago lightning and chin music, but it’s all just a trip for doughnuts.

 
Blancanieves.  It has bullfighting dwarfs.  What else do you want to know?

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Magic Mike.  Cheaper than a “hen party,” safer than a bunch of “rope tricks,” and definitely less degrading than a “pervy hole,” the Misfits offer their review of Magic Mike, the story of a misunderstood male stripper.  But if watching the “bump and grind” isn’t enough and you decide to take it all the way, remember to be sure and “cloak the captain.”

Chasing Mavericks.  Some movies are more than the sum of their parts; This film is more than the sum of its too many parts.  Despite too many characters, too many coincidences, and too many plot lines, it still manages to be a pretty decent film about surfing.

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Jack the Giant Slayer.  An even better title for this film would have been — not Jack and the Beanstalk – but The Beanstalk and Jack.  Or even better yet: Beanstalk!

Robot & Frank.  It’s a film about memory and the loss of memory that’s unforgettable.

Oz the Great and Powerful.  Be sure and bring your ruby slippers, because half way through this film, you’ll be clicking them together and saying, “There’s no place like home.  There’s no place like…”

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Bullet to the Head.  Audiences might turn out to see one more Rambo or Rocky movie, but will they queue up at the theater for James Bonomo, the character Sylvester Stallone plays in Bullet to the Head?

A Good Day to Die Hard.  As far as Bruce Willis is concerned, a more honest title might be A Good Day to Collect a Check and Run.

The Last Stand.  Even though this film has some good things in it, it’s unlikely “I’m the Sheriff” will replace “I’ll be back” as Schwarzenegger’s most famous catchphrase.

Parker.  This film has a bunch of taglines like: “Payback has a new name” and “Parker’s a pro.”  But maybe they should just go with the tagline you can use for any Statham film:  “He’s bald and wears a suit.”

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Spoiler alert:  Daniel Day-Lewis wins the Oscar for Best Actor.  Almost as shocking–the Misfits actually enjoy the Oscar telecast.  This show has something for every Misfit: crude humor for Da Man, singing and dancing for Nancy, Bond for Lou, and sock puppets for Jim.

Anna Karenina.  All the world’s a stage, at lest it is in this adaptation of Leo Tolstoy’s famous novel.

Zero Dark Thirty.  The title is a military term for thirty minutes after midnight.  Why is this important?  If you go to an eight o’clock show, the movie is so long that you might not get out until Zero Dark Thirty.

Beasts of the Southern Wild.  Hushpuppy might be only six years old, but she can still take on melting ice caps, floods, and prehistoric animals.  Even more amazing–she can find hope in the most hopeless situation.

Les Miserables.  What do the Misfits think of this musical adaptation of Victor Hugo’s story of pilfered baked goods?  Let’s just put it this way:  It’s not exactly the greatest thing since sliced bread.

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The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.  The only thing unexpected about this journey is that it’s two films longer than it needs to be.

Jack Reacher.  Spoiler alert.  He never changes, is always right, never gets hurt, and always wins.  How’s that for a character arc?

Hitchcock.  Hitchcock the director:  “Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.”  Hitchcock the movie:  Drama is life with most of the dull bits left in–along with some even duller bits that never happened.

Django Unchained.  The best shot Quentin Tarantino’s film has at an Oscar is Christoph Waltz in the Best Supporting Actor category.  But if the Academy gave out an Oscar for the Most Entertaining Film of the year, Django Unchained would definitely walk away with it.

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Hyde Park on Hudson.  One thing’s for sure, “Happy days” are definitely not “here again.”

Killing Them Softly.  Instead of saying, “he sleeps with the fishes,”  it might be better to say, “he sleeps with the audience,” which is how you’d describe someone who’d been bored to death.  Killings don’t get any softer.

Silver Linings Playbook.  You’d have to be crazy to pick this film about a couple of antisocial, neurotic oddballs to be nominated for best picture, actor, and director.  Maybe that explains how Da Man did it.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  Here’s a film that features a great cast in a charming story that was a surprise hit at the box office.  But are the Misfits ready to check-in or are they going to pack their bags and move on?

Oscar Nominations.  You heard it here first–the Misfits predict Daniel Day-Lewis will walk away with the best actor Oscar.  Not only that, but we’re also pretty sure the sun will come up in the morning.

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