6 ‘n 90!  Da Man reviews six films in ninety seconds.

The Ward.  If the characters in The Ward took the DSM III test, instead of turning out to be crazy and paranoid, they’d turn out to be dull and boring.

Footloose.   Forget about the ban on dancing.  Apparently Hollywood has a ban on new ideas.

The Ides of March.  Shhhh.  Whatever you do, don’t tell Clooney about Willow Creek dam.  The shock might be too much for him.

Abduction.  This idiotic movie has one believable premise.   After spending two hours with Taylor Lautner, you’ll definitely believe someone would put him up for adoption—even as a teenager.

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6 ‘n 90!  Da Man reviews six movies in ninety seconds.

Defendor.  He can’t spell, he can’t fight, and he pays a prostitute 40 dollars a day to be his friend.  A new hero for a new time?  Or just a direct to DVD mess?

Iron Man 2.  This sequel has more of everything: story lines, villains, and not just one Iron Man but two!  So how come it feels like something is missing?

Kick Ass.  It’s reprehensible, offensive, and objectionable.  But it’s also smart, challenging, and a well-made film.  And it’s got Hit Girl in it, which is a plus or a minus, depending on how you feel about the film.

The E*Trade Babies movie.  Product placement takes a giant leap forward as the product actually becomes the movie.  But why stop with the E*Trade Babies?  What about the Burger King?  Or the Maytag Repair Man?  Funny, you should ask…

We’ll be back in two weeks.  Thanks for listening!

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6 ‘n 90!  Da Man reviews six movies in ninety seconds.

Speedy Gonzales–racing to a theater near you.  Oh, and don’t forget about Marvin the Martian.  He’s on his way to earth so he can destroy…  Christmas?

The Islander.  Nancy concludes her interview with Vincent Arcaro, founder, president, and executive producer of Dark Light Pictures.  What will his final movie picks be to take with him on a desert island?

Hot Tub Time Machine.  If Lou had a time machine, he’d travel back in time to the moment before he bought a ticket for Hot Tub Time Machine and pick something else to see.  Would any of the other Misfits join him?

Francis.  He’s a mule.  And he talks.  It’s an idea that might work for the length of a single film–but what about seven films?  The Misfits take a look at the first four movies in the Francis the Talking Mule series.

Thanks for listening!  We’ll be back in two weeks.

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6 ‘n 90!  Da Man reviews six films in ninety seconds!

Hollywood takes on Red Box and bad Twitter movie reviews.

The Islander Part 2.  Nancy concludes her interview with the wonderful Ann Rutherford, who shares her final five picks to take with her on a desert island.  Ann also tells the story of how she got the part of Scarlett’s youngest sister in Gone With the Wind.

Ma and Pa Kettle, reconsidered.  Although to be honest, we’re not sure these movies have ever been seriously considered.  If not, it’s about time they were, and The Cinema Misfits are up to the challenge.

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We kickoff this inaugural show with Da Man’s 6 ‘n 90.  Six reviews in ninety seconds.

The Islander.  Guests are interviewed by Nancy and asked to pick the 10 films they would take with them to a desert island.  Nancy’s first guest is Ann Rutherford.  Miss Rutherford played Scarlett’s youngest sister in Gone With the Wind and Polly Benedict in the Andy Hardy series, and is a veteran of many wonderful Hollywood films.

2012 reviewed.  Spoiler alert!  But to be honest, this thing is pretty spoiler proof.  Things fall down and go CRASH!  Oops.  Did I say too much?

Hollywood.  Out of ideas, or moving in a direction so bold, so unexpected that we can only tag along and wonder at Tinseltown’s peculiar kind of genius?

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Michael Eisner’s office. He is speaking to his personal assistant.

Eisner: Last night. I was taking off my shirt — and I noticed in my belly button — this fuzzy stuff.

Assistant: Really?

Eisner: Yeah. Spontaneous fuzz. I think there might be a story in it.

Assistant: What direction were you thinking of going in with the… fuzz. Horror? Sci-fi?

Eisner: More along the lines of an environmental cautionary tale. Every man, woman, and child in America wakes up one morning to discover that their belly button has become a toxic dump site for…

Assistant: Lint?

Eisner: Sends a shudder down your spine, doesn’t it.

The assistant looks confused.

Eisner: Maybe Julia Roberts could star in it.

Assistant: Erin Brockovich 2?

Eisner: Why not?

Long silence from Eisner.

Eisner: Christ. I hope she doesn’t have an outtie.

Another morning.

Eisner: Have you ever noticed how when your eyelids open and close kind of slowly, there’s this… well, the only way to put it is — darkness. Usually you don’t notice, I mean your eyelids move so fast. But if you slow them down…

Assistant: There’s this… darkness.

Eisner: Exactly! Now try and imagine this. An entire film — presented in Blink-O-Vision. The tag could be something like: Don’t blink… or you’ll miss it!

Assistant: Should that go in the press release? Or do you want to save it for the one on one with Premier?

A more recent morning.
Eisner is chewing something and reading a small unfolded piece of paper. He laughs.

Eisner: Bazooka Joe. That guy really cracks me up.

Assistant: You do know, sir, we own that property.

Eisner: You’re shittin’ me!

Eisner swallows gum and begins to choke. Personal assistant performs Heimlich maneuver. After a moment or two, the gum pops out of Eisner’s mouth.

Eisner: All this time, we’ve been sitting on top a gold mine and I didn’t even know it. Bazooka Fuckin’ Joe. And he’s ours.

Assistant: Along with Mort, Cindy, Jake and the whole Bazooka Joe gang.

Eisner:  Just think of the merchandising possibilities.

The personal assistant takes a moment to think about the merchandising possibilities before offering:

Assistant: Gum?

Eisner: It’s a natural. We could hold a nation wide contest and stick chewed gum under theater seats. If you find the special gum, you win a big cash prize!

Assistant: (trying not to make a face) Chewed gum? Under seats?

Eisner doesn’t respond. He’s lost in a reverie.

Eisner: Bazooka Joe: The Movie. It’ll be the biggest thing since…

Assistant: Navel lint?

Eisner: Bigger. I’m talking big, big.

Assistant: Even bigger than Blink-O-Vision?

Eisner: Oh, yeah. It’s got Blink-O-Vision beat all to hell.

Some final thoughts on the possibility of a Bazooka Joe movie.  What else can we say, except…

Be afraid.  Be very afraid.