6 ‘n 90!  Da Man reviews six films in ninety seconds.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.  Flagrant Oscar Bait?  Or quirk run amok?

We Bought a Zoo.   It’s Elizabethtown with animals, which means it’s well-meaning, a little too nice, and has a sentimental screenplay propped up by a handful of clever story moments.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.  The only mole in this movie is the entertainment–and it’s deep, deep undercover.

War Horse.  Although it’s been called an old fashion epic that tugs at the heartstrings, some of the Misfits weren’t all that enamored with this latest Spielberg effort.  Are they looking a gift horse in the mouth?

The Artist.  The less said the better–really.

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Without benefit of a suped-up DeLorean, the Misfits do their best to look into the future and predict what the Best Picture nominations will be.

The Fighter.  Both Christian Bale and Melissa Leo won Oscars for their supporting roles.  Although it isn’t exactly clear who they’re supporting, it doesn’t seem to be Mark Wahlberg.

Winter’s Bone.  Hillbilly noir or one of last year’s better films?

The Kids Are All Right.  Who are these people?  Is this just your standard issue Hollywood love triangle tricked out in lesbian drag to make it seem “new and edgy,” or is it actually some kind of science fiction film that takes place in an alternate universe populated by annoying, self-centered people who actually say things like “all right” and “groovy”?

127 Hours.  Immovable object meets very resistible force.  Sometimes a dull penknife is the only answer to life’s problems.

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For your listening pleasure, a special episode we hesitate to call “a bonus.”  But really, how bad can this year’s Academy Awards show be?   The 83rd time’s a charm, right?  If you missed the live telecast (or just happen to be a masochist), listen and decide for yourself.  Hey, our version has this going for it– it’s less than a third of the original running time.

6 ‘n 90!  Da Man reviews six films in ninety seconds.

The Green Hornet.  Are the Green Hornet and Kato villains or heroes?  Or maybe both.  Or maybe neither.  Then again, maybe they’re just a couple of annoying slackers.

The Dilemma.  Two friends create a device that makes a silent electric vehicle roar like a rumbling muscle car.  The Dilemma is a lot like that device.  Look under the hood of this comedy, and you won’t find any laughs, just a lame drama pretending to be something it isn’t.

The Rite.   “The power of house payments compels you!  The power of house payments compels you!”  Maybe this explains why Anthony Hopkins is in The Rite.

The Misfits remember film composer John Barry.

The Company Men.  How can a film starring Tommy Lee Jones, Chris Cooper, and Kevin Costner go wrong?  The answer?  Ben Affleck.

The Misfits make their Oscar predictions.

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Tony Curtis remembered.

6 ‘n 90!  Da Man reviews six movies in ninety seconds!

The Town.  Move over Wells, Hitchcock, and Fellini.  There’s a new auteur in town: Affleck.

Devil.  M. Night Shyamalan’s career summed up in a single sentence: Going down, please.

Resident Evil: Afterlife.  Maybe this should have been titled Resident Evil: Afterthought–as in, “Oh yeah, besides sexy,  gun-toting babes, maybe we should have had a good story.  Oh well, maybe next time.”

Oscar Predictions.  Without benefit of animal entrails or tarot cards, the Misfits do their best to predict the 10 Best Picture nominations.

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The Misfits take a final look back at the January and February movies.  How did the big ego/small expectation, almost direct-to-video, and test-screening flops do?

6 ‘n 90.  Da Man reviews six films in ninety seconds.

The Islander Part 2.  Nancy concludes her interview with character actor James Karen, who shares his final movie picks to take with him on a desert island.

Shutter Island.  An updated Dr. Caligari, or just an over-blown, big budget excuse for a bunch of extras to do some gardening?

Cop Out.  It’s about two cops who spend most of the film not being cops.  It’s a comedy without any comedy.  And it’s a buddy picture without any buddies.  What does that leave?  Listen and find out.

The worst of the best.  Just because a film receives the Best Picture Oscar, doesn’t mean it’s any good.

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Join the Misfits for an evening at the Oscars — or anyway in front of a big screen TV, watching the Oscars.  All the predictability and tedium of the original three and a half hour show in less than a third of the time.  It’s a show Lou enthusiastically describes as “nice.”

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Up.  Maybe we’re just a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies who missed the bandwagon, but even so, nothing is going to stop us from putting in our two cents about Up.  It’s great!  So there.

6 ‘n 90.  Da Man reviews six films in ninety seconds.

The Islander is where guests are interviewed by Nancy and asked to pick the ten films they would take with them to a desert island.  Nancy’s guest this week is character actor James Karen.  Among his many TV appearances are roles on Seinfeld and The Larry Sanders Show, and on the big screen he has appeared in Poltergeist, The Return of the Living Dead, Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster, and many other films.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.  What’s the point of being an Olympian if your kid can call you on the carpet for being busy with God stuff instead of being a good parent?  The only thing that could possibly be lamer is taking an elevator to Olympus.

The new Wolfman movie is an uneasy mix of yesterday and today.  Is it an effort doomed to leave gorehounds disappointed and fans of the original film frustrated?

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The 82nd Academy Awards to feature TEN nominees!

That’s AMPAS president Sid Ganis in the picture, looking all pleased with himself after making this riveting announcement.  Notice he’s backed by two posters exhorting the anniversary of what many believe to be the greatest year in American Cinema, 1939.  Perhaps Sid is under the impression that 2009 will be the next 1939.  Sid, dream on.

This.  Is.  So.  Wrong.

Ten nominees?  Heck.  I can barely remember what the top five are every year.  How ’bout you?  Think about last year.  Can you name the five nominees?  In 3, 2, 1… Go!

Tick, tick, tick….time’s almost up.

Bong!  Time’s up.  How did you do?

(It was, in case you care, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon (yeah, like that ever had a chance), Milk, The Reader (another “filler”), and the big winner, Slumdog Millionaire.)

Now, can you remember anything that was nominated the year before that?

The Academy claims that this will be a way to broaden the spectrum, allowing more overlooked, less mainstream films to garner a nomination.  Finally, Michael Bay can sit near the front of the audience at the Kodak Theater and hope, hope, hope that his latest epic, Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen will get the nod.

He will, of course, be surrounded by a surfeit of producers of quirky indie productions, all of whom will have, by that time, convinced themselves that their Wes Anderson derivative movie will have been good enough to propel them to the podium to pick up their golden statuette.  Wes might be joining them.  Fantastic Mr. Fox is due for release in November.

Another theory is that the Academy is looking at this as a kind of economic stimulus…as in, box office numbers always rise for a film that garners a Best Picture nod.  So, if it works for five films, why not spread the wealth for ten?

Why not?  Ever hear of DVDs, AMPAS?  How about Netflix?  Do you all really think I’m gonna hit my neighborhood multiplex and plunk  down twelve bucks for ten films when I barely do that for the usual five?

AMPAS is quick to point out that the whole ten nominee thing is not new.  The last time it happened was in 1943.  Here are the nominees.

For Whom the Bell Tolls (Paramount)

Heaven Can Wait (Twentieth Century-Fox)

The Human Comedy (MGM)

In Which We Serve (Two Cities; United Artists)

Madame Curie (MGM)

The More the Merrier (Columbia)

The Ox-Bow Incident (Twentieth Century-Fox)

The Song of Bernadette (Twentieth Century-Fox)

Watch on the Rhine (Warner Bros.)

Casablanca (Warner Bros.)

Ohhhhhh, check out the diversity on that list.  There’s some comedies, some dramas, and a few war flicks.  War flicks are basically dramas, right?  And which of these ten were really Oscar worthy?  Oh, about five of them.  And The Ox-Bow incident didn’t win, so…meh!  I mean, really…when was the last time anyone sat through and actually enjoyed The Song of Bernadette or Madame Curie?  I have the answer.  Never.  You can throw Watch on the Rhine onto that list, too. The Human Comedy is pretty brutal as well.

(However, The More the Merrier is still pretty snappy.  Check it out next time it makes its way through the TCM rotation).

Plus, can you imagine how bloated the already over-bloated Oscar ceremony will be with, not five, but ten Best Picture nominees?  Oh, good lord, kill me now.

PREDICTIONS!

[AUDIO="http://imrud.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/bp-predictions.mp3"]

The staff of Cinema Misfits takes their best guess at which 10 films in next year’s Best Picture catagory will be nominated.